Growing Spiritually as a Lone Wolf and Defying Labels
Today’s society has us split into many parts, we are all at one time or another trying to put ourselves together bit by bit. Sowing up scars that have appeared over our life here on earth and with that many incarnations.
Some of these scars are on the surface and are just barely visible. Some are so deep, so engraved that only our subconscious can recognise it is there.
Like a familiar piece of our scars that over time gets more and more faint, that by the time it becomes a faint groove. When you trace your finger over it, you can just slightly feel the skin that has healed over it.
Some of these scars will never be completely healed, and regardless will always be there. It will never be perfectly healed as if it was never there or faintly there that it is impossible to see with the eye.
At times you can actually forget its story of how it came to being there in the first place. Other times, the memory is real, it is fresh, and it's sore and tender to touch even though the skin has become a bit tough as it has tried to heal itself.
The pain that comes with touching the scar brings tears to the eyes and aches to the worn out weathered heart that lies deep within the body it resides in.
The energy of the lone wolf
Today as I write this story, I am feeling the Lone Wolf energy a great deal. The above paragraphs felt like a purge I had to put down on paper before I continued.
My mind and body are out of balance.
I want everyone close, but also nowhere near me. I want to shout, scream, cry, rebel, and morph into a new person, I almost can’t stand being in my skin.
Sometimes I just want to crawl into nothingness, disappear into space, disappear into…. anything. I don`t like how I look today, I feel like I am not in my skin, and I am finding it extremely hard to “people”.
Some days I feel this more than others, today is one of those days.
My emotional reactions sometimes account to what is going on in the universe such as solar or geomagnetic storms. In a planetary aspect — full moons, eclipses, new moons, the influx of energies and spikes in the Schumann resonance.
Other times it is planets in my natal chart not sitting on their home planet making me feel as out of place as I am here on earth, which is part of why I feel I am a lone wolf.
When you consciously wake up, you begin to understand the scope of your purpose. If that is not daunting enough, you contemplate why you believe you are here and why you also feel so out of place here on earth.
Other questions surface:
Why do I feel lonely even in relationships? or feel lonely, even though you are out with friends or family
Feeling isolated and alone even though you are residing on a planet with billions of other souls.
In some way I have become used to it, the loneliness, I see it as a part of me, an extension of who I am.
I have discovered that I have a deep longing for something else that is not tangible. I can’t put “it” into words because I don’t even know what “it” is.
I wish that this “it” would come and find me, rather than me walking in the dark looking for it.
I know it’s not here, but unsure where out there it is. I know it’s around because it is a chord of energy that I can’t put a label or a title to.
Society`s label of lone wolf
The lone wolf has many labels, usually describing them as negative not realising that it can hold great power, strength, reliance and tenacity.
They don’t fit in society, the black sheep, the rebels, the outcasts, the weird ones, the unusual ones.
The ones that question everything because there is never an answer that can quench our questioning.
We are the ones that find it hard to be loved, but we love others more than we have.
We struggle with being understood in our relationships. Choosing at times not to be in any romantic relationship as we feel we just have been through too much already and no one (rarely) “gets” us.
But, how can they? there are parts of us we just don’t get either, we don’t want the norm in anything, we want that little bit more of anything and everything.
We want to be somewhere where we can belong, but we don’t know what or where that is.
Can the lone wolf find its pack family?
Wolfs are considered to wander in packs from 2 to as many as 15 to 20 in one pack. And in a pack, there is the alpha, hierarchies and the remaining wolves. I would assume wolves rarely appear as lone.
Unless it is a result of a wolf losing its pack to illness or it chooses to move on and find a new pack.
What's interesting is that when this occurs we can use the symbolism that a wolf is in transition. On it`s way to somewhere new, somewhere else.
The same can be said for the lone wolf in today`s society and how we view this from a spiritual perspective.
Many of us who have had a spiritual awakening were already in transition in some aspect of our lives. Either before the awakening or after. In some cases both. I can relate to that.
Wolf pack or soul family?
In spirituality, we can compare the wolf pack to the soul family.
For the most part, we do at times and are lucky enough to find our soul family and it is here that the pieces of our soul start to feel as if they are coming together.
But, even being a part of a soul family, loneliness can still linger because we have had to be on our own for so long that even with our soul family. We struggle to open up and learn to come together as one.
It is a hard learning curve for us to be raw, open, and vulnerable, sometimes even more so with those who are also lone wolves themselves. We are taken aback and surprised that there are others that are like us.
Lone wolfs coming together to build a new wolf pack family, as disjointed, unconventional, weird, and strange as it gets yet sometimes it feels whole is a blended soul family.
Other times it still feels like isolation paradise, we begin to accept all of this and just keep going on in life.
From isolation to strength
Here is what I think about the lone wolf:
Knowing that I am a very very old soul. Fragments of my being are floating around in other dimensions in other universes and my consciousness is always with our collective consciousness.
I’m a part of something bigger than me and my purpose of being here on earth at this time is to assist and guide the collective consciousness in its healing and in its ascension.
My past life and incarnations are numerous, with each soul experience weaving a level of energy into my consciousness that I have brought into this life to work through and heal from.
My heart yearns for love and a life that is unknown but subconsciously also knows that it exists.
Being a loner, an introvert an oversensitive child, a child that never fitted in at school, was always bullied, and always sat on her own in the playground is an adult who can share her wisdom.
Always feeling so much but not knowing why, can now as an adult show others how to manage anxiety that comes from being an Empath
Being a child in a family she never really felt like she belonged. Needed to be loved in a different way than her siblings, encouraged, nurtured, and supported in a way she didn’t know at the time to ask for. Now has gained a deeper understanding that accepts soul contracts and this incarnation was to show others in her family that it is okay to be different and to find the soul family that helps you feel a sense of belonging.
A soul that has become an awakened conscious being. Still finding out where she fits in this world but also recognising now it’s time to find her own way and lay down her own path, unique to her.
Final thoughts
Questioning society’s extrovert ways of being seen, and following someone else rules. “must do” and “should do” never really sat well with me.
I am a self-recognised sacred rebel with a lone wolf mindset that is grounded and anchored in her own sovereignty.
Deep down she is an introvert at heart and wants to run her own show as a lone wolf on her terms, in her own lone wolf way. Other times she connects with her pack while still on the journey to finding her own tribe.
Knows with a deep understanding of what her gifts can bring to this world and wants to inspire others to do the same through.
And, learns to balance being alone and being a part of a pack. Never for a minute forget who she is and the courage to live for her purpose every single day.
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