Self-Love in the Spiritual Community and Embracing I AM Love
Questioning the Norm
As the family's black sheep and a natural rebel, I've always challenged the status quo.
Years later, during a spiritual awakening, I found myself in a psychic development class where the topic of self-love emerged.
And of course, I questioned my teacher on this subject—and I continue to do so even today.
The phrase "You must love yourself" has never resonated with me. Interestingly, I’ve discovered that many others feel the same way.
Within the spiritual community, we form a small minority who view self-love with this mindset.
Why didn`t I connect with Self Love?
The first reason was that it was constantly being pushed in your face that you must love yourself - according to who the rebel in me asks.
Then there is toxic positivity which I felt was pushing self-love and using it as a blanket to hide behind what we feel on a day-to-day basis. We don`t always feel like love, rainbows and unicorns.
And yes, there is a tiny part of me that likes to disagree with others and throw in a little bit of stubbornness when someone tells me, or I hear “I need to love myself”…(insert eye roll here).
For some of us, the discomfort comes from childhood. I was not brought up in a very emotional household, actually, there were emotions but there was a lot of anger and yelling, typical of a Mediterranean family.
In my family we didn`t show love in affection, it was shown in other ways like in good ways such as food, or acts of service. However, it was expressed in not-so-good ways, conforming, going to schools and having careers that looked good to others for society expectations sake.
It was thinking for the future, not living in the present. Getting married, having children and multiple investment properties. Showing people love by putting others first before ourselves and saying yes but really felt like saying no.
As I grew up, It dictated how I was in relationships, what I expected, what I put up with or didn’t, and what I thought I was or should be getting in return.
Love came with conditions and expectations
At a young age, I knew I was different from my family and siblings. I needed to be loved differently, in the way I was different. And the "abilities" I had as a child were definitely not accepted as it went against every religious teaching.
Could you blame your childhood for not aligning with Self-love? possibly, but I wasn't going to fake my way into self-love as a grown adult just because it was expected in the new community I found myself in.
Aligning with what is right for you
When you have a spiritual awakening what many of us seek is to fit in as many of us didn't fit into the old way of life before awakening.
And an awakening is about rediscovering, its alignment, discernment and awareness. It is the path of a multidimensional soul balancing the human self with the higher aspects of the soul.
Regardless, it doesn't mean we stop questioning. It is the opposite, this should increase as we are using this to heal ourselves and create new boundaries and a strong sense of self.
We could ask:
“Is there a better way to learn this concept or mindset that’s right for me? A way that will help me better as a soul, and embrace this new way of being."
Does it really work with me and my thought process, is it a reflection of who I am? How does it feel within when I am choosing to align with a new belief?"
Public personalities, life coaches, motivational speakers, social media, and my psychic mentor are all talking about self-love and loving yourself.
As I learned more about awakening, I soon noticed teachings, books, and social media were no longer feeling right to me. In addition to not aligning with self-love, I feel the same way about healing the inner child and why you should keep an open mind about psychic attacks. Two other beliefs that I have very strong opinions about.
It started to feel off, it wasn’t matching my frequency or vibration. I felt pressured to figure it all out and deal with the discomfort that Self-love was causing me to feel. Past feelings of thinking differently in a community that I also felt like I belonged to took some time to work through.
At times the community left me feeling tired. Until I gained the awareness that even in the realm of spirtuality I didn't have to fit into a a box that was built upon enlightenment, awakening, and ascension.
A collective energy
To align with I AM Love is a collective consciousness energy.
I am an individual on my own journey while also incarnating at a time of mass awakening.
Understanding who I am and what I have learned about myself has had to be in tandem with being aware of a collective of where I fit in and where I don`t and still be okay with both.
A lot of time was spent discovering and getting to know the new me that has been slowly emerging. It seems I am in a constant state of reviewing, releasing, healing and then evolving. That is growth and what I believe is spirituality.
I have questioned who I am, and what my purpose is many times ushering many mini small awakenings. Discovered, developed new abilities, and went through some very dark moments.
It is wisdom gained over the last 10 years that I express through my writing and social media. It is my expression of IAM Love's presence in all it`s forms. Rather than wasting energy attempting to cultivate it outside of me when it is already within me.
At the end of the day, I decide what is in alignment for me and how it feels in my body. Is it setting alarm bells or is it what I am aligning with is allowing me to feel peaceful and safe?
Repeating Cycles
I have read my share of self-help books, seeking external assistance/guidance to help me become better, sparkle, to shine.
I spent time downloading workbooks and guidebooks, and watching webinars only to not finish them. Following popular content creators in the spiritual community, to then un follow at a later time.
For some I just outgrew. And this should be okay for everyone. Not everyone you follow is with you for your entire journey. As your vibration and frequency shift, it reflects your outer world, relationships and social media influencers.
I feel that sometimes we are expected to follow the same people forever because they have been with us in the beginning. Living in the IAM love frequency is an awareness of knowing when your path needs to shift and to grow and expand. Using your intuition when someone or something feels off.
After the "plandemic" I unfollowed a lot of social media personalities in the spiritual community because I no longer aligned with them. What surprised me and saddened me was the divide that it brought into the spiritual scene. It is where toxic positivity reared its head and our rose-coloured glasses come off.
As a collective, we each learned discernment and I hope acceptance that just because you don`t agree with someone or something was due to a realignment of your beliefs and frequency to where you were moving energetically.
It did show me in the spiritual community who would believe in a narrative to keep you in fear or whether you would step back and see it for a lesson in unity, standing by your beliefs. Having a collective mindset while still questioning what was being fed to you.
Have you had similar experiences with public personalities, and books and questioned your own path of self-love? Has it worked for you? Or has it lost its buzz and the sparkle and shine have worn off and you are back to the beginning? Back to repeating the same cycle?
Or have you found yourself in your heart, your soul, in your relationships, or in your life? regardless of what your external world is making you believe.
My heart and my head have always had their own path, going along their own way and rarely speaking to each other, but they have become better friends and the distance between them is not as big as it used to be.
The heart still experiences feeling torn, exudes sadness and then miraculously repairs itself even if it’s on the surface and beats again with a bit of joy when something has resonated or made sense. It has at times gone back into its shell and that’s ok because the awareness of knowing that has increased too. It’s all part of the process.
IAM Love
Discovering a new aspect of self can be fragile for the ego to face when the heart feels it is aligned.
It is a sub-conscious shift especially if it goes against everything you used to be.
My ego said this is how it has to be because that was what everyone else was doing.
When I realised IAM love felt more right to me than loving myself or self-love, it felt foreign on the surface but felt right within my own consciousness. It was a welcomed hug to my heart and soul.
I’ve been on such a trip trying to teach myself to love myself, been extremely hard on myself too. Trying to feel with my heart and stop thinking with my head, is easy to say for some.
It is also just as hard for me and for those who for whatever reason struggle with the concept of love.
Perhaps, changing our perspective to something that we can easily digest, accept, and understand is not such a bad idea until we get to that day when we can maybe say “I love myself” or IAM love and believe it
The concept itself is so simple, yet we complicate it due to social pressure. For me, IAM and pure love, it just is.
To say, I love myself is still uncomfortable to my cells, to my soul, to my inner being, but to say I AM LOVE… yeah I like it a bit better, and am ok with that.
When I get lost on my path or on the days when my I AM love essence is low I remind myself:
My IAM love vibration is enough to know what I tolerate from others and how much depending on the situation or circumstance.
My IAM Love vibration is enough to be kind to my body to nourish it, to give It what it needs, sometimes it wants to be healthy sometimes it's calling out for Nutella and ice cream either way it's ok..
My IAM Love vibration is enough to realise I am a part of something bigger and that I am here to help others see the love within and to help it grow in any way that resonates with them.
My IAM Love vibration is enough to start learning to see others as love and myself.
Final Thoughts
IAM LOVE is not a mission that needs to be completed or accomplished. Or an idea that needs to be bragged about to others or shouted from the rooftops.
A feeling or emotion that grows and flows all the time, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
This is what works for me, it may be for you or it may not.
You may keep searching or maybe you will stand in your IAM Love essence. Enough to know what`s in your best and highest good in this very moment.
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